It Begins: My Haitian Keychain

If you have been following me through this blog, you know that God removed every “key” from my key-chain almost a year ago, in preparation to move me into a new place, both physically and spiritually. On May 5th I will begin to fill a new key-chain, in Haiti. . It’s been a time of waiting and listening, kicking and screaming, laughing and resting, frustration and contentment. God has been planning things for me that I never thought were possible.

I love to pack. Not packing to move, but packing for a trip. For me, half of the fun of going on a fun trip is in the excitement of planning and looking forward to it while purchasing tiny little bottles of things you don’t really need but are cute and small. In January, I was given the opportunity to join the team at World Wide Village (WWV) in Port au Prince, Haiti beginning in May for a 6 month internship. I have had roughly four months of preparation for this next step in this journey. There has been physical preparation like buying the things (clothing, toothpaste, deodorant, vitamins, luggage, etc) to bring with me for my time there, getting shots, physicals, and getting rid of the beautiful highlights in my hair that I will no longer be able to maintain. There has been spiritual and mental preparation while getting ready to adjust to a whole new life and culture while leaving behind my entire comfort zone of hot water, driving, Mexican food, time with friends/family, my church, my own room, and nail polish. Yes, nail polish is part of my comfort zone.

My comfort zone also includes the luxury of planning. I am a hard worker that will do what it takes to earn what I need/want and I enjoy doing it. I am a leader and a planner that will write out a game plan and structure of what needs to be done and make it happen. But, God wants to be in charge and take control of His plans.

This prep time has required a lot of trust, not that I am always good at it. Trust that God will provide the $10,000 that I had to raise in order to follow this call and go through this open door. What I didn’t realize is that this trust doesn’t only look like praying and allowing God to provide for me during this time. It comes with a lot of different emotions that come along with asking friends, family, churches, and strangers to financially invest in you and your calling. I have had to be 100% dependent on the idea that people think and believe enough in me and what God can do through me in Haiti, that I will do the right things when I get there, and their money will be worth spending on me. If they don’t, I can’t raise the money and this door that I have been waiting for, will rapidly slam in my face. I never thought of that aspect of this process. I know that I am dependent on God and his provisions and I am totally ok with that. But, to basically ask everyone you know for their approval in you and your abilities was a lot for me to handle. I have spent years working on building up my self-worth in God’s kingdom after years of events and people that tore it away from me.
But I can say one thing, when God wants to prove something to you, He will. God wanted me to lean in and trust Him, not only for the actual finances, but to believe that I am worth investing in. And I am. Because I was able to accept that truth from Him, I was able to allow people to bless me both through prayer and finances and God will bless them for it.
The response from everyone has been more than overwhelming and I cannot believe that through them God has provided all of the needed money and now I have an army of prayer warriors while I am over there.
I have been so blessed with the community of people that God has surrounded me with and it has been crucial to prepare me for this time away from those relationships.

I am looking forward to the friendships I will build while I am there with the beautiful Haitian people, as well as Americans that are on our mission’s teams that I will work with. Just as the director at WWV, Randy tells me to do, I am praying audacious prayers of what God will do in and through me in Haiti.

I will board the plane at 6am on Sunday morning , after saying goodbye to these amazing faces and many more, with the lyrics of my favorite All Sons and Daughters song ringing in my head…”Tomorrow’s Freedom is Today’s Surrender”.

As I Journey On…

The Beautiful Caribbean Water in Haiti-
photo by me 12/12

In the next two months, this journey is moving me forward. It’s been a rough and bumpy road but I’m ready for the next step. God has proven Himself faithful in guiding me and opening the doors to allow me to obey and follow.

I have been given the opportunity to move to Haiti in April to work in an internship role with World Wide Village. I have never looked forward to anything more in my entire life. Though the preparation is somewhat overwhelming, I am so excited for this next piece of the journey! I will have the privilege of working alongside the missions teams that come, helping with the child sponsorship program, and a whole myriad of jobs that will both challenge me and fill my spirit.

My WWV Booth at the “Free Them” Human Trafficking event 1/25/13

I had a great experience a little over a week ago hosting a booth at an event in Orange County. It was a Human Trafficking event and they
allowed Non-Profits and churches to host tables with information. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to represent WWV (World Wide Village) and try to get children in our schools in Haiti sponsored. I have the information on child sponsorships at the end of my last blog so please check it out.
They had around 1,000 people in attendance and I think at least half of them stopped by my table. People are so shocked to hear the statistics of the education struggles in Haiti and how little it costs us to make a huge impact there. It was encouraging for me to have the chance to talk to people about it and see their interest. I would love to do more events before I leave and try to help as many of these kids as I can.

When I showed these people the pictures on my Power Point presentation of myself with these kids and told them I am going back for a while, their response was always shock. I’m not sure if I don’t look like the “type” to go and live amongst the Haitians, or they are shocked because I am single and young and am going. Everyone was encouraging and even though I was there promoting our child sponsorship program, I did have a couple people ask me how I pay for my own trip to go and live there for 6 months. I explained that since it is an Internship, I am responsible to pay my own way and that I need around $10,000 between now and April in order to make this a reality. One of the ladies that asked me that was very interested in sponsoring one of our little girls named Sophia.  She mentioned that she had a couple other booths to hit up and she’d be back before I left. I was completely packed up and ready to go by the time she made her way back to me, but I waited. She sat next to me and asked me a few questions about this journey and why I am going.  She explained to me that when she first approached my booth, she thought that she was here to sponsor a child, but after walking around she felt God had a different purpose for her there.  This beautiful, complete stranger, wrote me a check for $500 to help with the cost of my internship. I was so stunned and humbled that in that short amount of time speaking with me, she trusted me, listened to God and her heart, and acted in obedience.

If you ever wonder what God is up to in your life, listen.  He will show you and cancel any fears or doubts. I have a lot more fundraising to do, but by this one act of kindness, His faithfulness has proven to be present and relevant in my situation and I know that He is in control.
*If you like to know how to further support me on this trip, please follow this link with details on how…

http://www.facebook.com/events/121600574685824/

-I know I’ve already posted the words to a Jason Upton song once, but I can’t pass this one up.

Poverty- by Jason Upton

There’s a power in poverty that breaks principalities
and brings the authorities down to their knees.

There’s a brewing frustration and ageless temptation
to fight for control by some manipulation.

But the God of the kingdoms and God of the nations
The God of creation sends His revelation

Through the homeless and penniless Jesus the son
the poor will inherit the kingdom to come

Where will we turn when our world falls apart
and all of the treasures we’ve stored in our barns
Can’t buy the kingdom of God?

Who will we praise when we’ve praised all our lives
men who build kingdoms and men who build fame
but heaven does not know their names

What will we fear when all that remains
Is God on His throne, with a child in His arms,
and love in His eyes
And the sound of His heart cries

Here is the link to this song and the whole cd to buy. Very inspiring worship…

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/faith/id498020647

First Trip to Haiti-Part 2

This week was an awesome experience spent with some incredible people.  I am amazed at God’s timing and His perfect plan. I have had four months of waiting, planning, and preparing for this “first step” trip.  He has challenged me and given me the faith and patience along the way for it. He has sent people to encourage me and keep me moving forward to drown out those who discouraged and were negative. He has opened doors and given me peace throughout the journey.  I’ve said this before, but this season is the most I have ever felt like I was right smack in the middle of where God wants me to be. I wouldn’t be if He wouldn’t have brought me here. I have done a great job of keeping myself really busy so I can conveniently not hear a call from God that I’m not ready for; that I’m afraid of.  I’ve gotten really good at it.  The last ten years, I’ve heard it but I never allowed it to get too loud, that way I could pretend I missed it.  I am so grateful to God that He didn’t let me keep spinning my wheels. I am so grateful that He was gentle with me as He woke me up.  As He quieted the relationships, jobs, circumstances, and materials around me to get through to my heart. I am so glad He chose me.

Haiti is a hurting country full of beautiful spirits. The smiles on the faces of these people will melt your soul.  They are straight from the heart of God.  Your life changes forever when you are laughing and playing with a child that has no shoes on, clothes barely holding themselves together, a tent to go home to after school, with only one parent left living to take care of them and their four siblings.  I met a gorgeous little girl whose Dad was recently decapitated over a land dispute and her Mom has been so mentally unstable ever since, that she can’t take care of her children anymore.  I met more than one woman who is watching over her own family of five or six and took in two to three more children whose parents have both passed away. When you see the homes and circumstances these families live under, you can barely wrap your mind around them housing all of these kids. Yet, they are happy. They are content. This is the only life that they know. The earthquake itself claimed so many lives, that it is nearly unbearable to think about as you drive past the rubble and partially standing buildings that remain from it, and hear the stories of where and how these people lost a loved one during that horrible day almost three years ago.

I’ve been to other countries on missions trips and there are always similarities of impoverished countries.  One thing that struck me about Haiti though, is how generous and caring they are. I was told so many stories of helping hands and was able to witness many.  Instances like getting a vehicle completely stuck in an open manhole and fifteen people immediately rushing over to pick the truck up out of it and make sure they’re not hurt. I witnessed things as small as giving a few pieces of a snack to a child and watching them share it with as many others as they could.  These loving people are so generous with everything.

One of the biggest blessings on this trip was getting an opportunity to see a quality organization and how they operate daily on the ground in Haiti.  The organization I went with is called World Wide Village and they been operating in Haiti since 2001.  Though they have worked with many organizations over the years providing shoes and food and such, their main focus and purpose is to give a hand up, not a hand out. They have 85 Haitians as part of their staff on the ground in Haiti and do everything to teach, train, and empower. A few of their focuses that I was able to witness this week are Christian Education, clean water, housing construction, and economic development.

It was a treat to be able to work alongside some their Haitian staff this week.  We spent a lot of time at the elementary schools with our translators.  One of my favorite moments of the week came on one of those days with a gentleman named Patrick.  He was working that day to help bridge the communication gap between our team and the Haitian students. We were walking around the campus waiting for the kids to get out of school when I overheard a conversation between my team member Cheryl and Patrick.  She was inquiring about the contents of the student’s curriculum and she asked him if they teach the kids Religion as part of their studies.  His response left me speechless.  Patrick replied, “No. We teach them about their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.”  He recognized the difference, which many of us do not.  Now, I know that that was really what Cheryl was asking, and it was just the wording she chose, but it was awesome to hear.  That is the true gospel right there.  That is what the struggling people of Haiti need to hear about.  Hope in their Savior.

Haitians are a very able, hard working people and need help to get them moving forward.  I see so much promise for these people.  I see God’s hand working and I have Hope. I have Hope past today.

There is a way, right now that you can help.
In Haiti, 47% of the population is illiterate. An estimated 80% are termed “functionally illiterate”, meaning reading and writing skills are inadequate to cope with daily life. The average female in Haiti has attended only 2 years of formal education by age 25.  Education is a huge start to ending the cycles of poverty and helplessness for these people. If you would like to know about sponsoring one of these beautiful faces through World Wide Village for only $28 a month, please email me at CynthiaAnnFoster@gmail.com and I will forward the information to you.

*All pictures taken by me on my trip

First Trip to Haiti- Part One

I am officially in Haiti as I write this. It seems to have been the longest road to get here but definitely intentional. I have realized so many times since I have arrived why it took so many months for God to prepare me to come here, but not at all in the ways that I would have thought.

I am well seasoned with missions trips, though it has been a few years since I was on one. I am on a team of eight people this week. There are two couples, David and Sue who are older, and a younger couple named Kyle and Cheryl Schow along with their two teenagers, Bailee and Ben. They are all from Nebraska and awesome. The older couple have been here four times before but the Schows have never done anything like this.  Being here alongside this family and their first experience has been such a blessing for me.

Sunday was our first day here and we didn’t start any real work until Monday so I wasn’t sure what to expect from that day. We went to an English speaking church and then went to a restaurant for lunch. We spent the rest of the day driving through the capitol city of Port Au Prince. The bottom two pictures above is an idea of what it looks like everywhere in this city.  It is interesting watching the Schow family and their response to the poverty. They keep saying how overwhelming it is. What is odd is how NOT overwhelming it is to me. It’s really interesting. I know I have been to foreign countries before and am not ignorant to poverty, but it’s like my heart is numb to it a little. I was talking to Kyle that night who was just seriously rocked by the things he saw that day and he asked me what I thought about it. I told him how surprised I was at my own reaction and I started really thinking about it. At first, I was worried…aren’t I supposed to be really “touched” by this?!? I mean…this is supposed to be my calling!! Where are the tears?? The gasping for breath?? When I started saying my reaction out loud, it made me think of when I used to work with Foster Kids. I always said I didn’t want to be a Social Worker because even though they’re doing it to help the kids, they have to separate themselves emotionally in order to survive doing that job. I never wanted to take the emotion and love I had for those kids away. I felt like God was pointing that out in my mind to make me realize that this has been the last 4 months of preparation. I have been really emotional about it at home but I can’t really be that way here when I think about living here. I wouldn’t survive and be as effective.  My heart is so here and with these people but I’m not paralyzed by it.

I will post again while I’m here but  if you’d like to see my pictures, here is the link to my Facebook page.

http://www.facebook.com/cynthia.ann.foster

If we are not friends on FB and you can’t see them, send me a friend invite:-) I would love to share this journey with you.

 

My Passion

I am very passionate. I am an all or nothing kind of person so when I really believe in something, it shows. Passion is one of my favorite qualities about myself though I think it scares people at times. We have so many mediocre people in this life that are afraid to feel freely and strongly about things in fear of  something/one disappointing them or not reciprocating. I’ve seen people guard themselves in that way with love and politics, to advancing at work. I think that God gave us passion when he gave us compassion. The definition of compassion is: a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. I think without the accompaniment part of that definition, it is simply sympathy. I believe we need to have a passion to do what we can to help in order to truly be compassionate. Watching the faces of orphans on a commercial and tearing up is not the same as having compassion. God gave us that fire that we call passion to ignite with sympathy and make a difference. We need a strong desire to take action.

I am taking my first trip in this journey on December 1^st to Haiti. During the last couple months of researching, I came across an organization called World Wide Village that is involved with working with orphanages, Christian schools, medical care, as well as rebuilding houses and churches that were destroyed in the earthquake. This first trip is for seven days and my main purpose is to look into the internship program they have there, though I will be on a team working with the community there. This organization offers internships that are a minimum of two months and can go on much longer. Though I am not sure what the long term future that God has for me looks like yet, I feel I need to be proactive and start working towards that goal. God has not only opened this door for me, but has also provided for all of the funds for me to go. I know that God is going to further grow my compassion on this trip and I look forward to it. I want everyone that I come across to see His compassion in my heart and for it to be contagious to grow their own and take action.

This last month was an interesting one in this journey and what God is doing in my heart in preparation. It’s been somewhat of a roller coaster of amazing new friendships and the loss of some, extreme joy and crippling depression, excitement and worry. Sometimes when we know we are right where God wants us to be, we think it’s going to all feel secure and content. What I’ve realized is that God takes the vulnerability that we have in the security of knowing we are in His will, and uses that for molding us and the things around us to what He wants it to look like.  The great thing about that is that even through the pain of the molding process, He is right there to balance it out with His compassion for us.

My Heart. My Sacrifice.

When you feel a call to full-time ministry/missionary work, the response from others is interesting. People who don’t look to God for direction for their future don’t fully understand it, I don’t think. I love that because it encourages me and the reasons that I want to work in the mission field full time. From those people, I have gotten responses varying from blank stares with no words, to “Why would you want to do that?” I have actually gotten that response more than once, and though I understand that not everyone wants to work with the poor, I never expected someone to question my reasoning. To be honest, it breaks my heart. I wish that we lived in a world that everyone had a desire to be a part of the big picture outside of their own life and help others in need. No matter where you live or what you do for a living, God has called all of us to help those in need. I know what it is like to ignore that call and get caught up in my own little world, but the call remains for us.

While I am in this ‘be still’ period of waiting on God to open the next door for me, I find myself frustrated at times that He doesn’t already have me there working. As I wait , I believe that He is continuing to burn that passion in my heart that He placed there when I was a child to help other people. To be honest, one of my bigger struggles in life has been finding a balance of taking care of others as well as myself. I find it much more natural to help others and ignore myself and my needs, which is not what God asks of us. I’ve recently had some deliverance through prayer with some great people in my church on that specific issue. I think that God is allowing me to have this time to get me where He wants me to be in my walk with Him as well as those personal balances, as He prepares the way for me on this journey.

I think it is natural for us as humans to struggle with feeling insufficient to do His work, and I whole-heartedly relate. I am grasping onto His promises of Grace and Mercy that He freely gives us, and working hard to carry that in my heart through my daily successes as well as my failures. I am making myself and my walk with Him my focus and priority, and listening for Him to speak to me about what’s next.

I have been worshiping in my time alone with Him and I came across this song that is perfect to describe my feelings during this journey. I thought I would share this prayer from my heart and encourage you with it as well. I titled this post, My heart My Sacrifice but what my heart really feels is that this call to help the poor and orphaned is not a sacrifice at all, its a privilege.

No Sacrifice- By Jason Upton

To you I give my life, Not just the parts I want too
To you I sacrifice, These dreams that I hold onto

Because,
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your Love is stronger than mine

This is no Sacrifice, here’s my life.

To you I give the gifts, Your love has given me
How can I hoard the treasure that you designed for free

Because
Your thoughts are higher that mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice, Here’s my life.

To you I give my future, As long as it may last
To you I give my present, to you I give my past

Because
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your Love is stronger than mine

This is no Sacrifice, here’s my life.

This link is to this song and CD. Great encouraging worship music beautifully sung that has been awesome during this journey.
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/faith/id498020647

My Third and Last Key- My Car

I have never had a nice car nor did I care about having one. I have always had hand me down or cheap cars until a couple years ago. For about 6 years I was driving a 2001 Honda Accord which I loved. The problem with driving a car with 250,000 miles on it is that piece after piece, it begins to break down and is expensive to fix. My entire life I have lived paycheck to paycheck which doesn’t allow me a savings to dig into to fix these parts. I finally decided two years ago when my Honda was not fixable and I had to replace it, that I would lease a car so that my monthly payment and gas were all that I had to worry about. That was the first time I had ever had a beautiful new car, and though I never cared about having one, it was nice. For the first time, when I drove around and went to work, I felt like my hard work showed. For years, I was a retail manager in charge of 20-40 people, most of which drove nicer cars than me. I know a nice car is not important in the big picture, but you can’t help but notice when your employees’ cars are newer than yours. I felt like, when you are leading other people, you want to give them the picture that hard work pays off. That it’s worth all of the years of climbing that ladder and paying your dues. This beautiful new car that I drove with such pride was symbolic for me in a lot of ways.

My car wasn’t a BMW, but to me, it might as well have well been. It was a 2010 Toyota Camry Sports Edition. It was so pretty. My biggest joy was that it was freedom from so much stress. Finances have always been a struggle for me and I’ve carried even more financial stress the past 5 years since my divorce. Every time that something went wrong with my car, that financial stress was magnified.

By the time I moved in with my parents, my car key was the only key left on my chain. I had stopped making my car payment the day I lost my job which was a few weeks before moving. Having no savings, I was unable to pay any of my bills after that point. After living with my parents one week, I finally heard from unemployment and interviewed to see if I was eligible to receive it. I had filled out one claim form already and those of you who have been on unemployment before, know that they ask you if you’ve looked for work. I was honest on my first claim form and stated that due to relocating, I was unable to look for work the first two weeks. The woman on the phone (who clearly very much enjoys her job) proceeded to tell me in her words, “Due to your honesty, you have disqualified yourself from receiving unemployment for those first two weeks”. I personally think there may have been a more tactful way of saying that, but oh well. She then told me that due to an error I made the last time I was on unemployment 3 years ago (I accidentally wrote down the Net amount on a claim form instead of the Gross amount), I was disqualified from 5 weeks on top of that, even though I paid back the balance last year. So because of human error and my honesty, it would be at least 7 weeks with zero income. Good times.

The following day, my Mom saw a man writing a ticket for my car that was parked on the street in front of their house. I ran out to see what was wrong and he pointed out that my registration had expired in April. Somehow the notice never got to me even though it was now almost August. So, that was a $75 ticket on top of registration and fees from being overdue. The following day the notice came in the mail that they had canceled my car insurance due to no payments. And the hits just kept on coming.

I obviously stopped driving my car that day, and in the couple weeks following, I realized that I would never be able to afford the almost $1,500 it would take to get it up to date on payments and such to drive it. I decided that it would be better to voluntarily surrender it to the dealership before they could repossess it. I never thought I would get to this day. God has always provided for me, including money to pay bills, which I took to mean that he doesn’t need me to have that car.  Of course, if He is sending me to another country for ministry I won’t need a car at all, it’s just hard to let go. To let go of that final key; the final thing that I had that physically represented the years of hard work, as well as my freedom as an adult.

God has so much more to show me and for me to learn. I’m enjoying the process of being molded into a new beginning. A new journey; and even without anything that I started with, I’m excited about this journey the most.