I love my home. I grew up in a household that we worked hard for what we had and we appreciated it. I’ve always tried to make a home that was not only pleasant for myself to live in, but also to invite people too so that we can create memories and relationships together. I love decorating and would probably rather buy something cute from Home Goods for my house than a new outfit any day. The past year I was blessed to live in an adorable apartment in Huntington Beach. This was by far my favorite place that I’ve lived in to date, and I’ll add that I’ve lived in 9 different apartment/houses in the last 9 years. It was right off the 405 freeway but less than 10 minutes from the ocean, complete with a full gym, and gorgeous Pool/Spa areas with bbq’s. My happy place. Though I had great roommates, our lease was coming up mid-July and we were going to go our separate ways because of different life changes. I had a best friend that was planning to relocate to the HB area at that time and live with me. We had been making plans for months to stay living at my complex and share a place and that was exciting. God obviously had different plans and that was one of the hardest things for me. I’m a SoCal beach girl all the way and I would love nothing more than to stay there for the rest of my life. I’m 31 years old, I’ve worked since I was 16, sometimes 3 jobs at a time and I felt I deserved to make a decent living, live in a lovely city by the beach, and enjoy my time. Well, when God puts a call on your life, none of those things matter anymore. I was lucky enough that God started working in my heart long before he took this key from me.
I had a great friend come visit me for an evening of relaxing and bbq-ing by the pool which turned into a therapy session and prayer meeting. I love those nights!! I was voicing to her some of my personal struggles with the call that God had recently renewed in my heart, as I mentioned in my first post. I was really struggling with not feeling worthy of serving, and that I’m not good enough for God to really use. Though I try really hard, I mess up….a.lot. While I want to follow this call that He has placed on my heart and it’s makes me very excited, I was really struggling with the thought that I would have to start letting go of these things that I have gained over the years and downsize, or possibly give it all up. I have never been a very materialistic person, but I worked really hard to live there and create my life. My lovely friend was not afraid to give me some truth that night by the pool. She reminded me of the Grace that God freely gives us if we will accept it. She was also very honest in telling me that though she loved to visit me there by the palm trees in the gorgeous 70 degree weather, she looked around and said “this is too easy for you. I’ve known you for over a year and this is a great place for most people but it’s not you. It’s too easy and that doesn’t suite you”. Even though, that sounds harsh, it’s true. I was never created to be in that place, and I’ve always known that. It was nice for a while though. 🙂
When God removed me from my job, I knew that I had no other choice but to move in with my parents in La Crescenta. By the time moving day came, God had done so much in my heart that there was no mourning. No disappointment that my freedom, my evenings of spending time alone just cooking and doing my day to day routine was gone. My master bedroom and bath, perfectly painted, decorated, and organized to my liking, was going to become sleeping on a guest bed in a room with nothing but my clothes. I had given away most of my things before I packed and the things that I kept, I looked for anyone that I could find to bless them with. When the time came and I ‘loaned’ out my bed, TV, my whole kitchen, and other furniture, I told them that my prayer is that I will never need to ask for them back. I am so grateful for my amazing parents that, luckily, I really enjoy and get along great with, for taking me in and being so gracious. It’s crazy to the think that I would literally be on the street without them right now.
God continued to encourage me through people in the church and words/pictures that He gave to them to give me. The Sunday after I lost my job, my pastor’s wife came up after church and said that she sees me purposefully anchoring myself to this foundation and coming out of it is a huge canopy covering me and everything around me and that she just sees LIFE in front of me. That was such an encouraging word.
My life’s verse coming out of this time is 2 Corinthians 12:9 which states “My Grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness”.
On July 15th I said goodbye to Huntington Beach, to my beautiful home, and moved into my parent’s house. I have a small moment of missing it every now and again, but I can honestly say that as a whole, I don’t. He has made me content and I’m feeling blessed by the people that have been there to carry me, with a smile on my face.