My Heart. My Sacrifice.

When you feel a call to full-time ministry/missionary work, the response from others is interesting. People who don’t look to God for direction for their future don’t fully understand it, I don’t think. I love that because it encourages me and the reasons that I want to work in the mission field full time. From those people, I have gotten responses varying from blank stares with no words, to “Why would you want to do that?” I have actually gotten that response more than once, and though I understand that not everyone wants to work with the poor, I never expected someone to question my reasoning. To be honest, it breaks my heart. I wish that we lived in a world that everyone had a desire to be a part of the big picture outside of their own life and help others in need. No matter where you live or what you do for a living, God has called all of us to help those in need. I know what it is like to ignore that call and get caught up in my own little world, but the call remains for us.

While I am in this ‘be still’ period of waiting on God to open the next door for me, I find myself frustrated at times that He doesn’t already have me there working. As I wait , I believe that He is continuing to burn that passion in my heart that He placed there when I was a child to help other people. To be honest, one of my bigger struggles in life has been finding a balance of taking care of others as well as myself. I find it much more natural to help others and ignore myself and my needs, which is not what God asks of us. I’ve recently had some deliverance through prayer with some great people in my church on that specific issue. I think that God is allowing me to have this time to get me where He wants me to be in my walk with Him as well as those personal balances, as He prepares the way for me on this journey.

I think it is natural for us as humans to struggle with feeling insufficient to do His work, and I whole-heartedly relate. I am grasping onto His promises of Grace and Mercy that He freely gives us, and working hard to carry that in my heart through my daily successes as well as my failures. I am making myself and my walk with Him my focus and priority, and listening for Him to speak to me about what’s next.

I have been worshiping in my time alone with Him and I came across this song that is perfect to describe my feelings during this journey. I thought I would share this prayer from my heart and encourage you with it as well. I titled this post, My heart My Sacrifice but what my heart really feels is that this call to help the poor and orphaned is not a sacrifice at all, its a privilege.

No Sacrifice– By Jason Upton

To you I give my life, Not just the parts I want too
To you I sacrifice, These dreams that I hold onto

Because,
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your Love is stronger than mine

This is no Sacrifice, here’s my life.

To you I give the gifts, Your love has given me
How can I hoard the treasure that you designed for free

Because
Your thoughts are higher that mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice, Here’s my life.

To you I give my future, As long as it may last
To you I give my present, to you I give my past

Because
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your Love is stronger than mine

This is no Sacrifice, here’s my life.

This link is to this song and CD. Great encouraging worship music beautifully sung that has been awesome during this journey.
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/faith/id498020647

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